“Did you even hear me?” your exasperated friend says to you.

“Sure,” you say, inwardly hoping they don’t ask you for feedback.

The truth is you heard every word that came out of their mouth, but you didn’t listen to any of it.

Listening is more than just your ears taking in the sounds someone makes to you. It is absorbing the full meaning of what someone else is saying. The best listeners also take in clues from the speaker’s body language and the context in which it’s being delivered.

Listening is not as easy as it sounds. The first step in being a good listener is avoiding some bad habits. These include:

• Thinking of what you’re going to say next
• Evaluating what’s being said from only your perspective
• Talking over the speaker

Like any skill, listening takes work. Here are a few tips to help get you started:

• Treat it like a test. With any luck the speaker won’t present you with a multiple choice exam after they’re done talking, but pretend they will.
• Summarize. This technique is also known as the “so what you’re saying is…” trick. If you’ve truly listened you should be able to quickly sum up what they’ve said. It can also provide clarity and gives you a little more time if you don’t know how to respond.

Better listening skills can be a great help in business communication as well as your personal relationships. So practice listening and save your friends some exasperation.

The image of IRS agents gobbling up your hard-earned assets and selling them at auction may have flashed through your mind when you received that sweet love letter from Uncle Sam, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

The first thing to understand is the letter itself. Read it carefully and pay particular attention to what’s being audited and for which tax year. Another thing to watch is the return instructions.  Unless they state differently, any correspondence should go to the office it came from, not to a general IRS address. 

Make sure you have your records as organized and as detailed as possible. Precise, accurate records can be your best defense against an audit.

Don’t answer any question unless asked, and don’t volunteer any additional information. Also, don’t provide any additional records unless they pertain specifically to the audit.

Don’t ignore the notice. When you hear about IRS agents seizing assets or placing a lien against a tax payer, it’s usually because the taxpayer has already ignored the notices for an extended period of time.

Whenever you provide documents to the IRS, make sure they are copies, not the originals. The IRS has a habit of losing things. 

Most importantly, if you don’t feel comfortable dealing directly with the auditor, consult a tax professional as quickly as possible. They can often ensure a better outcome to the audit.

Memorial Day, formerly known as Decoration Day, is traditionally the last Monday in May. For many Americans it’s also the first official day of summer. What better way to kick off a great season than with an all-American red, white and blue spread? 

Appetizers:

Red, White and Blue Corn Chip Bites. While you’re getting the grill good and hot, keep the party rolling with these tasty treats.

Main Dishes:

Red, White and Blue Burgers.  Red peppers and white onions make this burger stand out, while the blue cheese completes the ensemble.

Red, White and Blue(berry) Chicken.  If a burger just isn’t in the cards for you, then why not chicken? While the colors don’t run, they may stain, says the recipe, so enjoy this dish outdoors.

Sides:

Red, White and Blue Deviled Eggs.  Everyone likes deviled eggs, so make them with patriotic pizzazz.

Red, White and Blue Potato Salad.  Who says potato salad has to be bland looking. Red and blue potatoes give this dish its all-American credentials.

Salads:

Red, White and Blue Fruit Salad.  For a lighter fare, try this simple salad with watermelon and blueberries for color and flair.

Desert:

Summer Crostini.  Sure you could bake a cake, but you want to enjoy the summer. These easy-to-make treats will let you do just that.

Drinks:

Patriotic Drinks.  While you may have plenty of cold ones on hand, don’t forget the kids. This colorful and kid-friendly concoction is perfect for any star-spangled occasion

It’s great food with a little slice of patriotism. What could be better this Memorial Day?

Has that humdrum day got you down? Wanna spice up your life? Well, why not bring the Monopoly Man home with you for hours of real-estate mogul inspired adventures? And if the Monopoly Man isn’t your style, there’s Pac-man, the lovable Donkey Kong, competitive Scrabble, lawn bowling and more.

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”  ~ George Bernard Shaw

A family game night can have other benefits too. If you include the kids, games can give them valuable practice at problem solving. Many games build specific skills that can be useful to them throughout their life such as math, spelling, and vocabulary.

Research from Carnegie Mellon shows that even a small amount of practice playing games can lead to better results in the classroom. And who says the kids can’t teach Mom and Dad a thing or two?

There are advantages for adults as well. Playing games can improve your relationships and help foster empathy for others, key skills in just about any profession. Games can even help create an improved state of mind. Developing a playful nature can help you deal with stressful situations and make new friends.

Whatever your guilty or not-so-guilty pleasure, a family game night may be just what you need to break out of the mold and shake things up a bit. You can include the kids or not, but the idea is to have fun, and more importantly, share the fun with others.

Food is trendy, and not just because we’ve been dealing with it in some form or another since we were born. No, by trendy we mean that like fashion, some foods are in style and some are ‘oh so last year.’ One of these new trends is gluten-free eating. If you’ve decided that it’s time to kick gluten out of your life, either because of health problems like Celiac disease, or just for your overall health, here are some things to consider:

If you’re going to simply substitute out cakes, cookies and breads for their gluten-free alternatives, then eating gluten free is not necessarily healthier.  Many of these processed foods actually contain higher amounts of fats and sugars. They’re also more expensive than their glutinous cousins. 

Gluten is insidious. It’s not just in breads and pastries; it can also show up in condiments like ketchup and soy sauce as well as many snacks. A gluten-free diet will force you to read nutrition labels much more carefully, but in the process you’ll become much more aware about the foods you eat.

Eating out can be problematic. Fortunately, since ‘gluten-free’ is now trendy in many places, the amount of choices you have has increased considerably. You’re still better off keeping it simple and sticking to meat, vegetables and basic starches like rice.

The true health benefits of a gluten-free diet come from eliminating processed foods, not substituting them.  It’s a back-to-nature sort of diet that can pay long term dividends for your health.

A hundred years ago, most people’s idea of saving for retirement was stuffing some money into a jar and burying it in the backyard. And while we can appreciate the foresight of our ancestors, these days the old jar just doesn’t cut it anymore. So how can you gear up for retirement?

Save More Today.  Financial experts recommend saving as much as 15 percent of your salary for retirement. Try doing it gradually, maybe one or two percentage points at a time. If you can, take advantage of automatic deductions at your workplace. If your company doesn’t offer it, do it yourself by setting a date on your calendar, or scheduling an automatic transfer from your checking to savings.

Pay Down Debt.  The last thing you want is to be heading towards retirement, head over heels in debt. Make a point of getting out of debt, even if you have to postpone some things you want.

Consider Downsizing.Take a hard look at what you have, and decide how much of it you really need. Scaling down what you actually need to be comfortable can not only save you money, but also time. Big expensive things tend to require a lot more maintenance. 

Don’t Increase Your Risk Factor.Now isn’t the time to learn how to become a wild and crazy day trader. Don’t go for high end, high-risk schemes just because you’re behind the curve on your retirement savings. You’re going against pros, so the odds are that you’ll simply fall further behind.

It’s your retirement. Manage it so you can spend your time doing what you love, rather than worrying about what you don’t have.